Scientist. It's just one of those careers that lends itself to villainy. It even says so on page 10 of the How to Be a Villain handbook.
Within the general area of villainy, supervillainy is the pinnacle of success. Think full professor, NIH director, or journal Editor-in-Chief. Typically, the path to supervillainy involves 4 distinct steps...
But if you're a chemist, a subject and profession that is clearly torturous, you're fast-tracked to supervillainy.
Your current job.
What you do in a standard "work day."
5AM: Awakened by this tune. Have coffee and breakfast. Read several newspapers. A supervillain is a well-informed villain.
6AM: Conference call with British supervillain mentor. We all know the British make the best villains.
7AM: Commute to office using mass transit. There's no rule a villain can't be 'green'.
8AM: Check-in with office henchmen, discuss current minion issues.
9-11AM: Host office hours for minions. The key to effective leadership is amassing an army of loyal minions. A villain simply must cultivate and care for their minions.
11:30AM: Lunch. Check twitter. The modern villain has to be social media savvy.
12-1PM: Teach general chemistry. Legal torture, my friends. MUWHAHAHA!
1:10-1:40PM: Commute to super-secret underground laboratory using mass transit. Again, there's no rule a villain can't be 'green'.
1:45PM: Coffee break. "Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love." ~ Turkish proverb
2:00-??PM: Super-secret stuff in super super-secret underground laboratory. Unlike some villains, I know how to keep my damn mouth shut.
What kind of schooling / training / experience helped you get there?
I have a BS in chemistry, a MS in forensic science, and a PhD in chemistry. While in college, I worked full-time in retail. After graduate school, I worked in a crime lab. Back in the Ivory Tower, I teach chemistry, mentor minions and henchmen, and am building a De-- doing research. Drugs, bombs, autopsies, crime scenes, students after one of my chemistry exams, the dressing rooms in a clothing store on Black Friday - I've seen it all. NOTHING PHASES ME.
Villains must be decisive, imaginative, discrete, quick-thinking, ruthless to their enemies, solicitous for the welfare of their underlings, as well as have both a strong stomach and a high tolerance for pain. Nothing prepared me more than graduate school and teaching.
How does chemistry inform your work?
Please refer to 12-1PM from the schedule above. Chemistry is playing an integral role in my research. Which, of course, is SECRET.
Finally, a unique, interesting, or funny anecdote about your career
I reviewed a paper this year for a respected journal. My comments and questions were marked "From reviewer #3" when sent to the authors.
*confirmed by select student evaluations