Archive for: October, 2012
In the summer of 1933, University of Chicago professor William Dodd became America's ambassador to Germany. Shortly after taking up his official duties in Germany, Dodd was visited by someone every chemist knows - Fritz Haber.
Haber was a Nobel laureate, his work both celebrated and vilified. He was a WWI veteran. He was a science giant, serving as director of the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute for Physical Chemistry. He was a "Non-Aryan".
While Haber's veteran status allowed him to remain director of Kaiser Wilhelm institute, 25% of the institute's staff would loose their positions under a new Nazi law aimed at purging the German civil service of 'Non-Aryans'".
Haber did not fire his friends and colleagues He resigned rather than obey the order to rid the institute of "Non-Aryans".
Haber had realized that everything would be taken away. Haber came to Dodd for help.
It was here - Haber's meeting with Dodd - where I realized my mistake. "Here" was in chapter 9 of Erik Larson's In The Garden Of Beasts, a view of the years leading up to WWII through the eyes of the America's ambassador to Germany, William Dodd, and his family. My mistake? I had relegated Haber to the Historically Important Chemist Club - where the chemists are renown, but not truly known - their lives reduced to a list of professional achievements.
Prior to picking up Larson's book, I knew Haber - like Niels Bohr, Albert Einstein, and Enrico Fermi (whose wife Laura was Jewish) - had fled regions hostile to "Non-Aryans". I knew the Nazification of Germany was in full swing by Dodd's arrival in the summer of 1933 and what the next 12 years would bring. But there was something about Larson's portrait of Dodd and Haber... reading Dodd's summary of his meeting with Haber... it got me.
It got me to really see the life, not just the career. Something easy to do with our cohorts, something challenging to do with our giants.
Fritz Haber image from Nobelprize.org
Scientist. It's just one of those careers that lends itself to villainy. It even says so on page 10 of the How to Be a Villain handbook.
Within the general area of villainy, supervillainy is the pinnacle of success. Think full professor, NIH director, or journal Editor-in-Chief. Typically, the path to supervillainy involves 4 distinct steps...
But if you're a chemist, a subject and profession that is clearly torturous, you're fast-tracked to supervillainy.
Your current job.
What you do in a standard "work day."
5AM: Awakened by this tune. Have coffee and breakfast. Read several newspapers. A supervillain is a well-informed villain.
6AM: Conference call with British supervillain mentor. We all know the British make the best villains.
7AM: Commute to office using mass transit. There's no rule a villain can't be 'green'.
8AM: Check-in with office henchmen, discuss current minion issues.
9-11AM: Host office hours for minions. The key to effective leadership is amassing an army of loyal minions. A villain simply must cultivate and care for their minions.
11:30AM: Lunch. Check twitter. The modern villain has to be social media savvy.
12-1PM: Teach general chemistry. Legal torture, my friends. MUWHAHAHA!
1:10-1:40PM: Commute to super-secret underground laboratory using mass transit. Again, there's no rule a villain can't be 'green'.
1:45PM: Coffee break. "Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love." ~ Turkish proverb
2:00-??PM: Super-secret stuff in super super-secret underground laboratory. Unlike some villains, I know how to keep my damn mouth shut.
What kind of schooling / training / experience helped you get there?
I have a BS in chemistry, a MS in forensic science, and a PhD in chemistry. While in college, I worked full-time in retail. After graduate school, I worked in a crime lab. Back in the Ivory Tower, I teach chemistry, mentor minions and henchmen, and am building a De-- doing research. Drugs, bombs, autopsies, crime scenes, students after one of my chemistry exams, the dressing rooms in a clothing store on Black Friday - I've seen it all. NOTHING PHASES ME.
Villains must be decisive, imaginative, discrete, quick-thinking, ruthless to their enemies, solicitous for the welfare of their underlings, as well as have both a strong stomach and a high tolerance for pain. Nothing prepared me more than graduate school and teaching.
How does chemistry inform your work?
Please refer to 12-1PM from the schedule above. Chemistry is playing an integral role in my research. Which, of course, is SECRET.
Finally, a unique, interesting, or funny anecdote about your career
I reviewed a paper this year for a respected journal. My comments and questions were marked "From reviewer #3" when sent to the authors.
*confirmed by select student evaluations
Today is Mole Day! This isn't small cylindrical mammal appreciation day, it's a day to commemorate a basic unit in chemistry. A mole is defined as the number equal to the number of carbon atoms in exactly 12 grams of pure carbon-12. What is that number? It's 6.02214179 x 1023 and is commonly referred to as Avogadro's Number, after the 19th century scientist Amedeo Avogadro.
If you had a mole of M&Ms, you'd have 6.02214179 x 1023 M&Ms - plenty of M&Ms to get through all 12 seasons of Murder, She Wrote. Now, if you had a mole of dollars...
You could pay off the US national debt and not notice the difference...
1 mole of dollars: $602,214,179,000,000,000,000,000
US national debt: $19,739,152,000,000*
If you spent a billion dollars a second, it would take you over 19 million years to spend a mole of dollars.
A mole is a big number. A big number routinely used to quantify tiny things like atoms, compounds, or molecules. We can fit a mole of some well-known elements into petri dishes...
It looks like there are different amounts of each element present. There are AND there are not. Image having a mole of Dachshund and a mole of Great Danes. You'd have ~6.02 x 1023 of each dog, but your mole of Dachshunds and your mole of Great Danes would take up different amounts of space and have different masses.
A mole is like a chemist's version of a dozen. Now imagine if you had a mole of donuts.... nomnomnom
*An ever changing value. Value estimated this morning at ~8:38AM CST on 24 October 2016. When this post was first written, the national date was about 2 trillion less.
Dr. Evil image is from Netbook News
Dog image from Examiner
Tonight's debate is focused on foreign policy. For authenticity, use imported beer and hard spirits.
- China blaming = shotgun a Tsingtao
- "Time for talk/diplomacy is over" or "Talking/diplomacy isn't working" = shot of Absolut Citron
- Any mention of British austerity measures = shot of Glenmorangie 18-year-old
- North Korea mentioned, but neither North Korea or Japan = shot of Yamazaki 12-year-old
- Cuba and/or either of the Fidel brothers = enjoy a bit of Havana Club & light-up a Cohiba
- Libya mentioned in the breath as "going in there" = shot of Grappa, brand of your choice!
- No mention of troop staffing issues or troop fatigue = shot of espresso
- "Apologizing for America" = shot of Kentucky bourbon, brand of your choice!
- Iran's nuclear program = shot of Hendricks
- Afghanistan = pint of Strongbow
- Any mention of Egypt = slam a Sakara
- "Two state solution" = Black & Tan
- Any mention of Mexico that does reference the cartel war = shot of Patrón Platinum
- Any mention of Mexico that doesn't reference the cartel war = shot of Cabo Wabo
- Venezuela and/or Hugo Chavez = slam a Polar
- "Latin America" but not mention of any particular nation = shotgun a Coor's Light
- EU crisis = enjoy a Grimbergen Triple
- No mention of Iceland, Greece, or Portugal = shotgun a Pabst Blue Ribbon.
- Shout-out to Germany = sip a glass of Lingenfelder Riesling
- Any mention of Africa = enjoy a bit of Amarula
- Any mention of science = water break
- Any mention of women = lady's choice!
- Big Bird or "binders full of women" = keg stand. TWICE.
- "With all due respect..." or "What my esteemed colleague..." = ouzo, brand of your choice
Feel free to add your own in the comments. Happy drinking/debating!
It's National Chemistry Week! It's time to talk about all the reasons chemistry is awesome!
This video except was part of a longer episode of 'My Chemicals of the Week', first posted in April 2012.
While getting a cup of fuel at my local cafe, I felt somebody touching and pulling my hair.
This hasn't happened to me in nearly 5 years - a stranger petting me as if I were an exotic animal in a zoo. As I turn around, the stranger says...
"Wow! Your hair is so cool! So fluffy and springy! Weird!"
We all know you never touch a black woman's hair, but clearly this stranger didn't get that memo.
"Do not touch me. This isn't a petting zoo."
The stranger "didn't mean anything by it". Yes, stranger, you did. If you "just thought my hair was cool", why didn't you just say, "Your hair looks great!" That's what I say when I see a cool hair style. You know what I don't do? I don't touch strangers. I don't pet them and pull their hair to see if it's "springy". Another's body, another's hair, is not mine to touch.
And stranger, spare me the "I was just curious" line. This is 2012. You've seen all kinds of black folks. With all kinds of hairstyles You know, just like non-black folks. Even if my hair is a novelty, you don't get to touch me just because you're curious.
Do not touch me. This isn't a petting zoo.
One of the many hats I wear is teacher. This term, I'm teaching general chemistry to 39 science and engineering majors. Not only do I have to dazzle these 39 students with chemistry in the classroom, I've got to invite them to my office on a regular basis for chemistry chats. That's right. Office hours.
Actually, I love office hours. I enjoy talking with students one-on-one about the awesomeness which is the photoelectric effect, or hydrogen bonding, or acid-base reactions... Problem is, the majority of students don't come to office hours. Seriously. Students don't go to office hours. Even though there are 5 excellent reasons to attend office hours and attending office hours is often a tip in those 'How to Succeed in College' things that come out every year. Even though there are how-to guides on attending office hours. Even though teachers want students to attend office hours.
We're 3 weeks into the term and only 3 out of my 39 students have attended my office hours. I know their names and exactly what we talked about. Not because I have a good memory, but because I keep a log.
I keep a log for two reasons...
- Letter to politician effect*. If a student takes the time to come to my corner of the college with a question, that question is IMPORTANT to them. This question is probably being asked by 5 other students. Knowing that potentially 6 students in my class are confused about something means I need to clarify that something.
- BIDEIC (bid-ek). At the end of the term, 1-2 students+ may come to my office and express confusion, dismay, and - sometimes - anger over their D or F grade. They'll say, "But I did everything I could." And I'll have to show them they did not do everything they could. They never asked for help.
Though BIDEIC is a good reason to start a log, it's reason #1 that motivates me to maintain my log. It's helping me be a better teacher.
*Not an email or a phone call. An actual handwritten letter. Watch Omar Ahmad's TED talk.
+This number doesn't represent the number of D or F grades received in one of my classes. Also, in my experience, most students earning a D or an F are not surprised at the grade.
Image of Captain Kirk from In My Copious Free Time
The folks here at Scientopia Blogs invited me to join their collective, which is a move I can only describe as 'one they will deeply regret'.
Who am I? Well, Winston Churchill once described me* as "a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Sure, I use a pseudonym, but I'm hardly mysterious. I'm a chemist living on the Left Coast that does a bit of this and that. Part of the this and that is being Editor-in-Commandant of the Journal Of Are You Fucking Kidding (JAYFK).
Fear not, JAYFK devotees! I will continue to run JAYFK will all the sarcasm and swearing you've come to expect. What then, can you expect from Thirty-Seven? This blog will have posts like the those I've written on sux, Death Star and zombie chemistry. Thirty-Seven will be SERIOUS.
*Actually, Churchill was describing Russia in 1939.